Cold Fish (Tsumetai nettaigyo)

I can’t remember the last time I watched a Japanese movie, but I can’t remember a lot of things.  I do, however, remember the first time. It was my freshman year at NYU in 2002.  A girl from my building let me borrow her Battle Royale DVD, suggesting that she knew it would be to my taste.  I loved it.  I’m still puzzled by her assumption to this day.  I don’t remember ever having a meaningful conversation with her and am still not aware that I give off the Battle Royale vibe, at least not to most people.  The next year, when I relocated (reluctantly) to Denton, I spent countless hours and dollars trying to find more Japanese movies that would be to my taste.  It’s harder than you think to find something to your taste when you don’t even know what your taste is.  The matter is made more complicated when you add in the factor of it being cinema from a completely different country.

Something that I noticed immediately was the cartoon-style blood squirting, which has always truck me as being more intelligent than the gratuitous gore it appears to be on the surface. Another thing was the obsession with breasts. Whenever a Japanese man in a movie wants to express his desire for a woman he excessively squeezes her breasts. Makes you wonder what the breast feeding habits are of the modern Japanese woman. I had no idea that Japanese women were so voluptuous or were even capable of having ample bosoms without the aid of surgery. The reason why I’m fixating on the breast thing is because it’s something that stood out to me, again, while watching Cold Fish.

Here, again, I’m confronted with the theme of relationships, which brings me to a movie I watched last night, Blue Valentine. I’m a big fan of Ryan Gosling so the only reason I can figure it took me so long to watch Blue Valentine is because I find Michelle Williams as annoying as Reese Witherspoon. (I’ve also, to date, avoided The Notebook, but I actually like, or used to like, Rachel McAdams). I know it’s because I keep clear of sappy Hollywood love stories, but sometimes I wonder if the only other alternative is the ultimate downer like Barney’s Version, Blue Valentine or Cold Fish. It amazes me when American and Japanese movies carry similar themes, downer or otherwise. It’s a small world, but within that world there is so much variation, especially when it comes to storytelling. In both Blue Valentine and Cold Fish there’s a similar portrayal of a father’s affection that isn’t reciprocated by a wife who doesn’t know how to say she wants a divorce.

I really couldn’t tell what Cold Fish is about by reading the description on the back of the DVD case. The only details it really gave away were that someone’s daughter steals which causes something bloody and suspenseful to happen. I really wish they would have done a better job of marketing the movie for what it was, because I wouldn’t have taken so long to pop it into the DVD player.  On its face Cold Fish reminded me of, and did little to change my mind that it was just like, Chinese Cat III movie Naked Poison.  Several years ago that would have been fine, but I think I’ve outgrown my Asian sexploitation phase.  French, Spanish and Italian sexploitation is still fresh enough to be engaging. Cold Fish, while it utilized some gratuitous sex/nudity was actually a serial killer movie that reminds me of a cross between Clay Pigeons and a series of nonsensical narratives similar to my hospital dreams/delusions. Cold Fish was a nice welcome back to Japanese cinema.

I’ve decided that Japanese women are the most beautiful women on the planet.  This was reinforced after watching Cold Fish.  I also remember that they come with red hair. Logic would dictate that if something comes with red hair it has to make it that much more awesome. I don’t actually remember seeing any Japanese women outside of at UNT, and that even includes in New York.  I’m sure there must be a dating website for it. There’s a dating website for everything. Unfortunately, “JDate.com” is already taken. Don’t remember seeing any young Japanese women when I got sushi the other day either.

http://www.sushi-typhoon.com/films/coldfish