Bohachi Bushido: Code of the Forgotten Eight (Bôhachi bushidô: Poruno jidaigeki)

I think it’s pretty obvious what I was thinking about when I bought this DVD. Unlike some of the cover art I’ve seen online, my version of Bohachi came with a topless prostitute on the front. It may surprise you, but I was crossing my fingers that Bohachi wasn’t just straight up porn, and instead something closer to the sexploitation of Perfect Education 3 (Jin shi pei yu, xiang gang qing ye). Me thinking it was porn is probably what kept the DVD unopened until now. They say you shouldn’t shop for food when you’re hungry and I guess you shouldn’t shop for movies when you’re horny. I’ve also been fooled by vampire movies in the past that were softcore porn in disguise. I hate softcore porn. It’s not even “just the tip” and is barely dry humping. My criticism of softcore porn is both literal and metaphoric.

Under the umbrella of Asian sexploitation, the closest I’ll knowingly get to softcore porn is Perfect Education, and I prefer movies like Freeze Me (my first introduction to Japanese women with naturally large breasts). Freeze Me would have been a fine movie without the nudity, but the skin served the purpose of making the rape scenes more graphic and the heroine more sympathetic. To expand the cinematic scope a little further, when I think of Caligula I think of a movie that was full of nudity with no purpose. The aim of all that bare flesh was to demonstrate Roman decadence, but it came across as no more than an excuse for Playboy to make what it perceived to be a legitimate non-pornographic film. To be clear, I enjoy watching the human form on film, not necessarily in a “tasteful” way, and I think we’ll all agree that at times the less tasteful or tactful a thing is the more enjoyable it is. Caligula does not apply.

On the exploitation scale, Bohachi is a lot closer to the spoof Black Dynamite, but better executed. Bohachi’s execution reminds me of the scene from Tropic Thunder and the conversation between Kirk Lazarus and Tugg Speedman. Dynamite went full retard. In a spoof you never go full retard. If you put Dynamite on VHS and threw it in a discount bin with actual blacksploitation movies from the 1970s you might not be able to tell the difference, which is an art form in itself, and should be appreciated, but should also be recognized a failure when it comes to being an accessible and enjoyable movie.

Where Bohachi is successful in not going full retard is evident in my favorite scene from the whole movie, the fight scene between the nude prostitute bodyguards and an assassin. It was silly but artful (I smile just thinking about the choreographer and what rehearsals must have been like), and self aware in a way that made the first Austin Powers fun. Bohachi’s only flaw was the opium sex orgy scene near the end that seemed to drag on, ruined the pace and tone of the movie, and almost crossed the line into purposeless softcore. Thankfully, that nonsense ended right about when I started looking for the fast forward button. Even with this minor setback, Bohachi was still very enjoyable.

Part of me wants to look up other Teruo Ishii movies but I’ve been disappointed by Japanese directors in the past (Takashi Miike and Takeshi Kitano). My first inclination after finishing Bohachi was to look up 120 Days of Sodom instead (Salò o le 120 giornate di Sodoma), but the only version I found on the internet didn’t have English subtitles. I may be taking a trip up to Hastings in the near. It seems I’ve gotten my nude comedy fix and am on the prowl for something dark. I’m the exact opposite of the ronin in that I serve multiple masters.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EQ8wx15iHh4